Why do we close our eyes when we kiss?

This is quite a question I know. Well it is one which a character in Coming To asks a group of men in a workshop about self development. If you want to know the answer he gives, and it may surprise you, then buy the novel at www.thegaybeartrilogy.com

Piggybacking.....

So I spent three years writing a novel and it is out there and has grown into being part one of a trilogy. It is proving popular and the bear community and others are being incredibly supportive of my work. A new part of the marketing strategy is to make the text even more accessible via a Voice Over of certain excerpts from the book for the website and yesterday a filmmaker asked to make a short documentary about the process of the writing and about the collaborative process between Vladimir, the photographer and model and me and of course the subject of the trilogy. So all this new art is piggybacking on the novel itself and is taking me to places I didn't expect.....

Book Two - Himself

The same time period is covered as in Book One, Coming To. The difference for Aiden, the light of Jim's life is that, Jim in Coming To, the first instalment of the gay bear trilogy was emotionally opening up, but for Aiden the reverse is true for most of his story. Jim assumes wrongly that Aiden is unapproachable, somehow out of reach for him. His perception of Aiden is that he has everything, youth, good looks, success and a great modelling career. If he has all of this why would he look at Jim, the one that Jim perceives as a fat hairy bloke slowly becoming a gay bear icon, as he works through his demons in a variety of ways. What Jim doesn't know is that Aiden's life is not what he supposes it to be, in fact it is obvious what Jim had picked up on when he first saw Aiden at the Bear Event, his pain and his hurt, although it is deeply hidden underneath his model and celebrity exterior.

Throughout Book Two we see Aiden lurching from abusive situation to violent encounter and back again. All may look perfect from the outside but the model and celebrity world is a den of abusers, Svengali types and those who want their pound of flesh. Aiden is trapped in his life as Jim has been in his till now. Their encounter has shaken both men, despite it being only a glance from Jim before Aiden's cronies whisked him off after he won the Mr Bear competition. It was Jim's  ardent gaze that set them both off on their individual voyages of discovery, which would lead to their eventual meeting........

'Just write about what you know.......'

All the experts say 'just write about what you know' and to a great extent I hold with that maxim, which for me means I can write what I like about any subject with just a little research and my own common sense and opinions. I am not saying it is always the absolute truth of the matter but who can know that anyway. We are all subjective beings. With 'Coming To' and the subsequent novels 'Himself' and 'In Time' I have used and will use, more than a little of what I know. This based on experience format is seemingly why so many people love the work and comment so intensely.

'Upon reading chapter two, the verbal blows and abuse from Jasper, made me feel like I was being slapped, what a vicious little man, I am glad Jim walked out.'

The words have a profound effect on people as do the images carefully created by Vladimir Okřina to evoke the emotions of the main character.

'The picture on page 9 is so powerfully beautiful. It looks like someone breaking away his invisible chains.'

To have such great feedback is immensely moving for me given that this work has a semi-autobiographical slant to it and was 3 years in the making.

'This is an awesome read'

Excerpt...Chapter 6

It was Saturday morning and he found himself once again in a group of men, out of town and facing a residential weekend. After a short while in the workshop he began to relish the fanta- sies that were being bandied around by other group members. These ideas fuelled his own deep seated fantasies and made a delightful frisson for Jim. Still, he was led by a certain for- mality and he began very slowly in the dressing up phase of the workshop to play with these ideas. He took his own waistcoat from his battered old leather holdall - this formal and drab waistcoat he now chose to use as his first dressing up tool. But first of course he had to un- dress, at least his top half. He stood for a while unable to summon the confidence to take off his checked shirt and his vest, but then as others began at varying speeds to disrobe, he thought he may as well join in; after all, he was here to push himself. He felt the chill of the room glide over the surface of his torso mixed with some warm glances from his fellow par- ticipants. This encouraged him in the game, the play acting, and he felt an excitement both in his inner child buried deep inside him and from a certain sensual and playful feeling evoked by being semi-naked with a group of other men. Now he swung the waistcoat around his shoulders raising his arms and exposing his delicious armpit hairs, slightly unkempt and natural. He smelt his own musky scent, perhaps amplified by the slight tension in the room and being surrounded by these new men. Once the waistcoat was on, his thoughts shifted to what this exercise was all about i.e. to play with his own self-image and to develop new per- sonas, ones he could be excited by and develop a relationship with.

Excerpt.....Chapter 4

Jim had never been, until recently, an average gay man. He had mostly focused on his career at the University and its mundane and humdrum practices. He loved his subject but most of his time was spent in endless paperwork, recording statistics and teaching a pre- dominantly dumbed down student body. Drastically reduced entry requirements had put paid to Jim’s former exciting career over 15 years ago. He had fantasised during that time about the other options that might be open to him, but he had been brought up to hold back any expectations for career fulfilment, other than a hefty pay packet or true love and his parent’s marriage was most definitely not a good example. The new and transformed life that was only just beginning to unfold made his feelings even more intense, given his decades of self- denial. He often wondered why people sought to control others, so often and with such vehe- mence and why so many people let them get away with it and for so long. The young men who now trashed his looks, his age and his demeanour could not know just how much he had missed out on when he himself was a youngster. He had suppressed all those wonderful urges in an effort to please family members, friends and teachers, being convinced that he must not rock the boat. Jim could not even remember how or why this new seeking for ad- venture began. All he could say was that he had occasionally sent notes to out-of-town strangers when he found himself visiting friends or attending a conference. He would even sometimes sneak off and have sex with them, but it was, as he knew, a dishonest life, unful- filling and not one lived out in the open.

Amazon availability.....

Very soon you will be able to purchase Coming To, via Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk

Enjoy!!